Friday, April 4, 2014

That Kid Named Kevin

It's new growth | he says |
a strange mass | he says |
conspiring-coalescing-gathering like
the coming of a winter's storm | an
eruption of Mount Pinatubo | the
intense flush of a hot flash |
forging its way upon my bones | my bones
my bones | my bones |

This ancient enemy of humanity |
with its emptiness-it own vanity-inhumanity
forced upon my humanity |
cursing and coursing its way upon the highway
of my skeletal frame |
steady | invading | always invading like an eddy |
never abating | it is death man-
it's death-it's death |

It's haunting | the diagnosis-the prognosis |
the oasis of fear-like fire-like fire-like fire |
could the test results be a liar-an outlier-
is it the buyer of my-sick-soul |

I'm mired in the hillsides of my emotions |
I'm dying man-I'm dying-in my mind I'm dying |
my body agrees with me | everybody agrees |
my family agrees with me | we all agree |
I'm dying man-I'm not lying-no-I'm not lying |

Its cancer | cancer | don't--say--it's-- | cancer

You flesh eater | you scavenger-avenger-
minister of fright-of fear-- | you've been here
since the beginning |since the beginning of mankind |
taking names | placing stick crosses on berms |
decorated with blossoms | they are the lost |
mother-father-sister-brother | I too am
that kid named Kevin | whose now--in--Heaven | I am a Kevin |
if only I could hope for Heaven | if not |
don't let me fall afar | just let me rest-in-peace |
among heaven’s twinkling stars |

But love | oh love! | lift me-sift me-
whisk me away | upbraid me-berated me-to hope |
to hope--hope |

I want to live-and to give | to receive and believe |
in you-in me-the world of make believe | to make peace |
the capacity to be heal | so I can feel | I can continue to |
love man--love | I want to live | I want to love |

I--don't--want--to--die |

© 2014 emmett wheatfall
All Rights Reserved

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