Monday, September 29, 2014

Something My So Called Friend Had Done

It appears the older I get, the less likely I'm to view friendship the way I use too. I use to believe policemen were like the good guys in old westerns. You know, the guys who wore the ten gallon hats and rode around all day on a big, white, horse.

In one instance, the good guy wore a mask that only revealed his eyes. And that six-shooter of his, well, it appeared to be made of something akin to pure silver.

If you don't know who I'm talking about, just know he was a loner.  They called him the Lone Ranger. He did have one friend though. He was an Indian named Tonto. And Tonto, he was faithful and loyal.

I'm not a loner. Rest assured I know a lot of people. There are very few I can call loyal, let alone, a friend. I say this because; it appears the older I get, the less likely I'm to view friendship the way I use too.

You see, I've never been a lawman, never wore a ten gallon hat, or rode around on a big, white, horse. I've never worn a black mask that revealed only my eyes, never owned a six-shooter appearing to be made of something akin to pure silver. However, I have been a friend, a loyal friend.

It was not long ago that a friend, someone I thought to be a loyal friend, ended what I thought to be our friendship. He set fire to the bridge representing equal access to our respective worlds. While I was watering and nurturing our friendship, he was letting it wilt like a water deprived blossom set to bloom in the soft light of a golden sun. This is something my so-called friend had done. 

He was not a lawman. He was someone who portrayed himself to be my friend, someone supposedly tried and true, and someone who pawned himself off the way a so called loyal friend would do. This is something my so-called friend had done.

Yeah, he wore the invisible ten gallon hat, the one that typified truth, justice, and the American way. Metaphorically speaking, his six-shooter was silver. It shot silver bullets laden with misgivings masquerading as 'trust what I say. I will never lie to you, neither will I the ever deceive you.'

His big, white, horse, represented the patronage and adage recited by Will Smith in the movie Bad Boys "We ride together, we die together." Yes, it was "We ride together." But as sure as hell, 'we ain't dying together.' It was only when his lies betrayed him, that his mask was removed from him, and his lying eyes revealed him. This is something my so-called friend had done.

Word to anyone who thinks they've got a friend who’s tried and true, someone loyal to you. Take heed from someone like me; this is what becomes of a friendship undone. This something my so-called friend had done.

© 2014 emmett wheatfall
All Rights Reserved

Friday, April 4, 2014

That Kid Named Kevin

It's new growth | he says |
a strange mass | he says |
conspiring-coalescing-gathering like
the coming of a winter's storm | an
eruption of Mount Pinatubo | the
intense flush of a hot flash |
forging its way upon my bones | my bones
my bones | my bones |

This ancient enemy of humanity |
with its emptiness-it own vanity-inhumanity
forced upon my humanity |
cursing and coursing its way upon the highway
of my skeletal frame |
steady | invading | always invading like an eddy |
never abating | it is death man-
it's death-it's death |

It's haunting | the diagnosis-the prognosis |
the oasis of fear-like fire-like fire-like fire |
could the test results be a liar-an outlier-
is it the buyer of my-sick-soul |

I'm mired in the hillsides of my emotions |
I'm dying man-I'm dying-in my mind I'm dying |
my body agrees with me | everybody agrees |
my family agrees with me | we all agree |
I'm dying man-I'm not lying-no-I'm not lying |

Its cancer | cancer | don't--say--it's-- | cancer

You flesh eater | you scavenger-avenger-
minister of fright-of fear-- | you've been here
since the beginning |since the beginning of mankind |
taking names | placing stick crosses on berms |
decorated with blossoms | they are the lost |
mother-father-sister-brother | I too am
that kid named Kevin | whose now--in--Heaven | I am a Kevin |
if only I could hope for Heaven | if not |
don't let me fall afar | just let me rest-in-peace |
among heaven’s twinkling stars |

But love | oh love! | lift me-sift me-
whisk me away | upbraid me-berated me-to hope |
to hope--hope |

I want to live-and to give | to receive and believe |
in you-in me-the world of make believe | to make peace |
the capacity to be heal | so I can feel | I can continue to |
love man--love | I want to live | I want to love |

I--don't--want--to--die |

© 2014 emmett wheatfall
All Rights Reserved